(Macro credit to Mazarin, an SCH commenter.)
Come gather round, four-feathered folk
And listen well, to this tale I'll tell
Of a night that started almost a joke
But which eventually ended quite well.
Two sides, two teams, one war to wage
The first to four wins ascends to the next stage
The men in red have their eye on silver
The men in blue, demons that still make them shiver.
As things were, it was an even field
A series tied, fates yet unsealed
There was an Orcan rush, and oh, was it strong
An onslaught of attack that went too long.
The night's first hero, a Finnish wall
Went down too low, yet stood quite tall
Twice (or more) did attackers nearly break
But how they failed, because they didn't elevate.
So it was, the Feathered men drew first blood
Thanks to the work of a man they called VerStud
Not long after, though still a little outchanced
There came another tally, the score now even less balanced.
At this point, it seemed, the Orcans felt a bit defeated
But a young soldier by name of Hansen persisted
He brought his team closer to a victory
If not for a typical display of Burrows asshattery.
With the hair-pulling menace in the box of shame
The men in red struck once more to make this their game
The tally came from the stick of Big Buff
He taunted the enemy, who had seen quite enough.
In search of redemption, Burrows broke through
With the clock winding down, turned the score 3-2
Those who came to watch erupted with glee
There was still a chance that a win they would see.
For nearly eight minutes, the third frame in gear
They waited, breaths bated, for a reason to cheer
Unaware they'd seen the last of their men that night
(Except, I guess, for the occasional but meaningless fight.)
This time it was a man named Marian who came through
He outhustled, outskated, outskilled a man in blue
And so, with the battle nearing its finale
It seemed only right to deliver one last, controversial tally
Two men converged upon the Orcan's lone guard
His defenders came to his aid, but with little regard
To what a small push or shove would eventually do
How it would drive the final nail in their coffin blue.
When the battle was done, when the dust had settled
And their supposed faithful littered their arena with rubble
The defeated men saw things all too clearly again
This tale has found them a villain, and his name is Dustin Byfuglien.