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Thank You, Deadspin | July | 2011 Articles

Thank You, Deadspin

Written by Andrew Bernier on .

Kane

I never ever ever ever thought I'd ever type that title out in a million bazillion years.  Yet, here we are.  Allow me to recap my Deadspin reading history.

I used to visit Deadspin at least once a day.  They had all the big sports news and the comments were generally good for a few laughs.  But then there was a bit of a shift to more gossip-y type stuff.  They became the TMZ of the sports world.  There was the Tiger Woods thing, Brett Favre ding-a-ling thing and the Mark Sanchez girl thing.  Honestly, they just became too interested in what athletes were doing with their dongs for my taste.  So I stopped reading and I'm sure they didn't miss my four clicks per day.

But sometimes they have some stuff that's relevant to this site.  They had those Vancouver limo pictures with Madden, Versteeg, and Kane.  Then Deadspin had some stuff with Kane being drunk in a bar.  And a few months back there was the girl who took a picture of his boarding pass (I'm still not sure what she was trying to prove with that. Have you seen the girls he's bagged? That club is about as exclusive as a public golf course).  Whatever helps Deadspin pay the bills.



Naturally, when Kaner hurt his wrist and needed surgery, the hungry masses flooded Deadspin with emails because it couldn't have been done while training and it had to be because he was drunk in a bar and someone had to have pictures.  Deadspin's response surprised me.

We were inundated with requests to investigate, because PK is a favorite around these parts.Has it come to this? The man, a professional athlete, has an injury that the American Association of Orthopedic Surgeons specifically says "often happens during sports activities," and you all assume the worst? Shame on you all.

That said, if you have photographs of the sawdust-and-vomit-covered Northside dive bar floor that Kane undoubtedly fell on while simultaneously engaged in drunken fisticuffs and a threesome with two Loyola nursing students, you know where to send them.

Deadspin, I'm sorry I doubted you in this situation.  You passed up that low-hanging fruit and spread some common sense to the people.

My one gripe is that I'm going into my fourth year at Loyola and a lot of my friends are nursing students.  For all the stories they tell (and trust me, they don't ever shut up with their stories about tests and labs and BLAH BLAH BLAH) I've yet to hear one threesome story.  Can you point me in the direction of those girls, please?

On Patrick Kane's Injury (Deadspin)

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