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Welcome to Stink Town: Hawks @ Blues Preview | November | 2011 Articles

Welcome to Stink Town: Hawks @ Blues Preview

Written by Kelly Thomas Reardon on .


The Blackhawks take the idiotic circus that is their special teams units off to St. Louis where newly minted head coach Ken Hitchcock claims to have fixed the powerplay in one practice.

The Blues are coming off a narrow 1-2 loss to the surprisingly successful (at least thus far) Minnesota Wild on Saturday. The Blues are hanging with a 6-7 record, good for second to last in the Western Conference, ahead of only the laughable Columbus Blue Jackets. *insert complaining about bonus point and “.500” records here*

To give you an idea of where the Blues are at, their top three scorers are Alex Steen, Jason Arnott (LOL) and T.J. Oshie with 9, 8, and 8 points respectively. However, the saving grace for the Blues is their defense, with all players with a few exceptions (Chris Stewart among them) having plus ratings despite Jaroslav Halak’s tepid start. Thankfully for the Blues, Brian Elliott of “Escaping Ottawa” fame has been a minor diety in net while Halak gets his shit together. Halak is reported to get the start tonight against the Hawks, but don’t get excited yet, as Halak is still a premier talent and can steal a game at a moment’s notice.

Meanwhile, in a real city, the Hawks are coming off a 6-2 dick stamping by the Vancouver Canucks Sunday night. The Canucks showed the entire league that if you want to destroy the Hawks, have a good power play. The Canucks scored FIVE power play goals Sunday night, and the geniuses in the Indian Head sweaters still couldn’t figure out how to stay out of the pouty box. Sadly, the 6-2 score isn’t even close to saying how close the game was. One of the goals was the typical “Luongo’s at the UC, so here’s a gift” goal we’re used to seeing and Crawford bailed out the Hawks on several occasions. Easily could have been significantly worse.

It isn’t all overcast and dreary in the Windy City however. (Well, weather wise it is.) Duncan Keith is slated to make his return to the ice tonight after blocking a shot with his hand about a week ago and missing a few games. Not only that, but we’ll see the return of the unholy alliance of Keith & Seabrook, thank the gods. I won’t worry about that pair obviously, but the trickle down effect of this move creates a second pairing of Leddy & Hjalmarsson, which makes my sphincter start clenching immediately. (HOW’S THAT IMAGERY TASTE?) Sure, let’s take the two most skiddish defensemen with regards to rabid forecheckers, pair them together, and ice them for the first time against a should-be-motivated and dickish Blues squad. Recipe for disaster in my eyes. We’ll see how that goes.

Coach Q’s random line generator has also made a triumphant return to the spotlight with what the lines were at practice the other day. Taters is up on the first line with Toews and Sharp, which I’m actually thrilled about being the President of the Michael Taters Frolik Fan Club and all. Carcillo is back with Kane & Hossa. Bickell is taking a seat apparently, and Bolland will be confused at this weird guy with #85 on his sweater that he’s never seen before joining him on the third line with Brunette.

Simply put: Don’t fall into the dick measuring contest the Blues are sure to start, stay out of the box, and get a goal early on Halak to make him start thinking.



@hattrot Is a dick stamping like a dick stomping or having ones dick knocked into the dirt? Or is it something the USPS is doing to raise $?


@Sporils7 i assume it's the USPS because i heard they'll do just about anything for some funds.


@hattrot Pardon me mam, I just assumed since I clicked on the link in your tweet. #oopsie


@Sporils7 hahah no problem sir! just like promote all my fellow writers at BHDL

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