Hello all, unless you’ve been completely out of the loop and hiding under a rock with Roberto Luongo you know that the Blackhawks are currently in tote with their dads for the bi-annual Chicago Blackhawks Dad’s Trip. While the nice pleasantries of golf and dinners are highlighted on Blackhawks TV, BHDL has been able to take a glimpse into all the activities they aren’t talking about:
The Dad’s Trip Fight Club.
First we talk to Mr. Hjalmarsson. Thinking with a familly nickname like “Hammer” and a son that blocks shots on the regular he’d have a pretty good tolerance to be the first one in the rink. Here’s what he had to say.
Papa Hammer: Oh boy.
BHDL: Now, who did you fight? Who gave you the most grief?
Papa Hammer: I just came into town and thought we were going to go golfing and watch some hockey games. There was none of this on the last dad’s trip.
BHDL: Did you fight anyone? Anyone talking a lot of game, but not bringing the pain?
Papa Hammer: Uh, what? What was the question?
BHDL: It was the Scott duo wasn’t it? We’ve seen the damage John Scott can do to guys.
Papa Hammer: I don’t know what you’re saying, but that Patrick Kane character is a scrappy little bugger.
Huh. Kane? Scrappy? Yeah, I guess he’s scrappy, but he looks like he jaws more than anything. Let’s see what Mr. Sharp and his son Patrick had to say.
PSharp: I.. I.. I’ve never seen anything like it. I knew he had it in him, but that was from another place.
BHDL: You mean Kane giving the business to Mr. Hjalmarsson?
Papa Sharp: No no no no no, that.. that.. Bolland death stare.
BHDL: So you fought the Bolland clan?
Papa Sharp: No, I fought Patrick Kane, kid’s got a hell of a right hook.
BHDL: but what about Bolland?
PSharp: It was crazy! He was just staring at the fight club circle. His eyes didn’t move. I thought he was going to blow something up with his mind!
BHDL: Wait, you’re telling me Patrick Kane is the reason for all of these bruises?
Papa Sharp: Well yeah, BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOLLAND GUY AND HIS DAD?
BHDL: Yeah, it happens all the time in games.
PSharp: This wasn’t game day death stare, this was like... losing game seven in the stanley cup playoffs to the canucks death stare ON TOP OF his usual game day one. PLUS his dad is the one who taught him how to do it. So it’s just... I don’t know how I haven’t gone blind. It’s like looking at an eclipse.
Well that obviously has to be how Patrick Kane is beating everyone. Bolland is the distraction and he just goes in there and starts pummeling guys. Maybe John and Mr. Scott had better luck with the 5 foot 11 inch wonder. I mean, John Scott has to have done some work right?
Papa Scott: Man! No one told me the dad’s trip was going to be THIS fun!
BHDL: So you guys did it, Patrick Kane finally met his match with the Scott clan.
Papa Scott: Oh no, we got upended pretty badly. Have you seen that scrappy guy?
BHDL: Yeah... that’s why we are a little confused.
Papa Scott: Oh boy! It was a blast! I always get to see Johnny here fight, but I’ve never seen him get taken down!
BHDL: Patrick. Kane? Took you down John?
John Scott: I don’t want to talk about it.
BHDL: But those bruises, those are real? Like, Patrick Kane has that kind of reach? I don’t believe it.
Papa Scott: OH! BUT HE DOES! You should have seen it, John was trying to pin him down, but Kaner came out of no where and just went for it.
John Scott, beat by Patrick Kane. This isn’t right. Something is off, gladly next we have the two Kane men up to interview so we’ll see what they have to say about their, ahem, triumphs.
BHDL: So, you guys must be pretty proud with your Fight Club performance.
Mr. Kane: Yeah, I’ve always told Patrick to go out there and give it his all. We’re pretty proud with his time spent in the rink.
BHDL: It’s quite an accomplishment, at least taking down the two Scott fellows.
Mr. Kane: They were the least of our worries, John just kind of stood there and took it. And did you hear about the Sharps? With the way that son talks, I figured they would have a little more bite to go along with the bark.
Kaner: Yeah, you were wrong about that. YOU ALL WERE WRONG.
BHDL: Well, congratulations are in order, I guess.
Kaner: THAT’S RIGHT. PRAISE ME.
Anything to add Lepisto family?
In unison: We’re just happy to have lived through the double Bolland death stare.
There you have it folks. From the Dad's Trip Fight Club. Didn't look like it had too much of an effect on last night's game. Hopefully it doesn't effect tonight's game either.