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Hawks 4 - Canadian Revisionist History Majors 3 | October | 2011 Articles

Hawks 4 - Canadian Revisionist History Majors 3

Written by Kelly Thomas Reardon on .

 

2011-10-13_22-04-19_175
HEY GUYS THESE BREWSKIES ARE GREAT. I LOVE YOUR SPIKED HAIR. YEAH IT IS JUST LIKE MINE. I BENCH LIKE 230. OUR SLEEVE TATS ALL ON OUR RIGHT ARMS ARE PRETTY SWEET. HAVE I MENTIONED THESE BREWSKIES RULE? SEE MY 'C' ON MY SHIRT? IT MEANS I'M THE BOSS. THAT'S WHY I WEAR THIS SWEET HEMP NECKLACE. GO JETS GO. THE ATLANTA WHOS-ITS?



Tonight saw the much anticipated return of Andrew Ladd and Dustin “BABIES MAKIN’ BABIES” Byfuglien to the confines of the United Center for the first time since the Stanley Cup victory in June of 2010. Would the excitement of trumping their old teammates be enough to get Laddy & Buff to lead their hot & smelly garbage team over the Hawks?

Five minutes into the first, the latest of a bunch of sloppy ass clearing attempts was picked off by Oduya. He let a wrister go from the point, and Slater got a piece of it, redirecting it through Ray Emery’s five hold. 1-0 Jets.

Three minutes later, Slater would tip another shot from the point (this time from Hainsey) to score his second. Hanisey was left wide open at the point due to a major brain fart from Rusty Olesz who just sat on the boards and stared at the puck instead of tracking his man. 2-0 Jets. Coach Q would call his timeout here.

 



Halfway through the first period, on a powerplay caused by Kaner making Enstrom look stupid, the Hawks would cut the deficit to one. Patrick Kane picked up the puck on the boards, slowly walked it in and fired a wrister which Pavelec stopped. The rebound dropped right in Andrew Brunette’s feet, and he was able to shovel it home. 2-1, Jets.

With three minutes left in the first, Hossa was able to fight through a check at the blueline and come away with the puck after a neutral zone turnover by the Jets. Patrick Kane snuck in on the far side and let a one-time knee-drop bomb fly to tie it up. 2-2.

The first would end tied up at 2. The incredibly sloppy play by the Hawks in the first half of the period played right into the Jets’ hands (because ya know, they’re used to practicing with terrible players) and they quickly took advantage. After the timeout from Coach Q, there was a little bit more focus. Still some sloppy play, but it was tightened up a bit.

Thirty seconds into the second, Hossa would pass the puck up to Nick Leddy at the point. Leddy would start to slide with the puck across the blueline and feed it right back to Hossa. Hossa would one-time a long shot which snuck through traffic and Pavelec to give the Hawks their first lead of the night. 3-2 Hawks.

Three minutes into the second, a stuff attempt on Ray Emery’s blocker side by Kyle Wellwood was stopped. Wellwood and Evander Kane would each take whacks and pokes at the loose puck which was fluttering around Emery’s right leg pad. The play would go under review and be ruled not a goal, keeping the score at 3-2 Hawks. I agree with the call, although it was incredibly close, but the video could not show that the puck crossed the line.

Seven minutes into the second, Michael Frolik picked up the puck in the neutral zone to start a 2-on-1 rush with Bickell. Bickell would get a pass from Taters, but be stuffed by Pavelec. Bickell would get a takeaway behind the net and feed Dave Bolland who would throw a weak shot on goal that Pavelec couldn’t handle. The puck would squirt over the line behind Pavelec to give the Hawks a 4-2 lead, and give Dave Bolland the NHL lead in hilarious goals with 3.

With five minutes remaining in the second, there was all sorts of stupid from Ray Emery. He over committed to his right and couldn’t cover the puck. He then slid hard to his left to cover the gaping vagina of empty net he left open. The puck squirted to Emery’s right (which was not playing the role of gaping vagina of empty net) and somehow Kyle Wellwood didn’t hilariously fall, but rather got the puck in the net. 4-3 Hawks. I shouldn’t put that whole play on Emery though. The ol’ fashioned Chinese Fire Drill in the defensive zone appeared and failed to help out much at all.

The second would end with the score 4-3 Blackhawks. More sloppy play in their own end led to the Jets getting within a goal. Thankfully, we can all laugh at Pavelec for letting in Bolland’s goal and keeping our one goal lead.

The third period would be scoreless as each team traded chances all period. Emery and Pavelec each were up to task. The Hawks pick up their second win in a row and hand the Jets their second loss in a row.

Random Observations:

  • I loved how it took Pat Foley nearly 2 minutes to say that O’Donnell is one of four 40 year olds in the league.
  • Carcillo really does go to hit anything in the vicinity. But I like how much attention he draws from the opposition. If the other team is thinking about Carcillo instead of Toews, Kane, Hossa, Sharp or any other number of better people, we’ll take it.
  • Emery seems spastic in net. You’d think a guy with a ridiculous hip injury would be more efficient with his movements. And his lateral movement leaves a lot to be desired. But I suppose that’s to be expected.
  • On the penalty that Patrick Kane drew on Tobias Enstrom halfway through the first, man did Kaner make Enstrom look just stupid.
  • I’m always amazed at how big of a dude Nik Antropov is. No matter how many times I see it. Yikes.
  • Hey, you know who’s pretty terrible at defense? Tobias Enstrom.
  • Holy hell, Duncan Keith nearly killed Pavelec on a one-time slapper in the first. Yowsa.
  • Funniest thing ever: Watching Mark Stuart hitting Taters and hurting himself.
  • So you think the organization told Edzo & Pat to talk up any not idiotic decision by Carbomb?
  • The Making of the Luvabulls??? Really? Come on now.
  • I hope Bolland scores 20 goals and that ALL of them are hilarious.
  • Kyle Wellwood falling on a breakaway attempt? FOREVER LAUGHING.
  • I’m shocked at how much I like Carcillo with Kane & Hossa.


Three Stars:

  1. Marian Hossa - 1 goal, 1 assist, in beast mode all night
  2. Patrick Kane - 1 goal, 2 assists, in fuck you mode all night
  3. Michael Frolik - no points, but Taters was all over the place tonight



Up Next: The “champion” Bruins come to town Saturday. Be sure to check out the amazing preview that I’m putting up tomorrow morning. Ohhhhh boy, it’s a doozy.

(No photos of the game because the slackers at blackhawks.nhl.com haven't put up the pictures yet and I'm not waiting. Jerks.) 

2 comments
DollarBillWirtz
DollarBillWirtz

Those Jets fans look like little d-bags. If any of them were my sons, I'd give 'em a good whoopin' - just ask Rocky.

DollarBillWirtz
DollarBillWirtz

Bolland and Matt Cooke tied for 2nd (with about 7 others) in the NHL for Goals. Both on pace to have 80+ goal seasons. Bollie's probably going to ask for more $$$. Damn.


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